Expressing Gratitude – A Step in the Right Direction

By Lynn Homisak, PRT

Whatever happened to gratitude in our world?

Sadly, our country has always known inequality; but it's become worse, and as a nation, we are more divided than ever.

Have we forgotten, amid our differences, how to be kind, civil, or tolerant of each other?

Has it come to the point that we don't even want to share the planet with someone who doesn't share our views? Is "thankful" something we only feel obligated to think about once a year in November? Does everything we do have to end up with the finger gesture from the car or a scornful comment to someone without a face-covering during a crisis? What is it that stokes the mean spirit in us, to the point in which destroying the lives of fellow citizens by any means possible has become just another day?

Someone, quick! Please get me a pair of much-needed rose-colored glasses to see the good in people again.

I know it's there! It may be that I am too much an optimist, but I think we need a boost in compassion and a little more understanding; show a little more gratitude towards each other.

I've been feeling this way for a while. It became clear to me the other day as I sat in the reception area of my doctor's office, awaiting my appointment.

I happened to overhear a patient expressing her gratitude to my doctor as she left the office. She pointed out how appreciative she was of the care she received that day.

My eavesdropping on their conversation was unavoidable as this very vocal patient was within earshot of where I was seated. Her comments were flattering and mainly focused on her experience with the medical assistant. "Karen was so great," she said. "She took excellent care of me, made sure I was comfortable, and kept poking her head in the room while I waited to let me know how much longer you would be and to make sure I was comfortable. You might not realize it, but little things like that make a difference to us patients. I hope you recognize what a good nurse she is and thank her for being so caring."

I smiled publicly and cheered silently!

I always love hearing some good employee feedback.

The doctor's response, however, was not what I expected. Nor was it, in my opinion, professional. A simple acknowledgment was all this patient looking for. Instead, what she (and everyone else in the reception room) heard was, "Well, I don't have to thank my staff for being nice to my patients. That's their job. That's what they get paid for. If they weren't (nice), however, they would surely hear about it from me!"

As a patient, witnessing this unfortunate scenario allowed me my interpretation. He would undoubtedly point out to his staff all unsatisfactory conduct and silently ignore their generally excellent behavior. Are these qualities of a successful practice?

My viewpoint might be better explained by sharing Sam's story.

Sam was a little league baseball coach. From the dugout, he heard one of his players complain to another. "Coach only sees what he wants to...he only sees the times I miss the ball!" The coach turned to his player and assured him that coaches do see everything! "Then why, Coach, do I only hear it when I do something bad or outstanding. What about all the stuff I regularly contribute that helped make ours a winning team? Don't you ever notice the little thing we do? Don't they matter too?" 

The coach still argued that he saw everything but shamefully admitted that the "expected" things are sometimes just taken for granted. He thanked the young player for bringing this to his attention. He needed to hear it. From that point on, he vowed to be more aware and recognize his players, even at the "un" expected times.

Similarly, the patient I described made a point of sharing her experience, and it was something the doctor needed to hear.

It is not uncommon for doctors to be unaware of daily activities while busy treating patients.

After all, they can't be everywhere all the time. However, as managing physicians, they need to be aware of staff responsibilities; the inadequate, the exceptional, and everything in between. Where to start?

For one, it would be helpful if doctors did self-awareness checks and occasionally noticed what may appear routine activity, yet vital to the efficiency of the practice.

When they do, let staff know that these everyday tasks are appreciated. Show well-deserved gratitude to the staff. Not only because "it's their job," but because it will lead to repeat behavior, higher morale, job satisfaction, and if that wasn't enough…greater productivity.

Two, start a new habit of beginning or ending staff meetings by saying nice things.

It helps by balancing gripes or complaints that may arise in our practices with positivity every day. Managers can go around the room and suggest each employee verbalize some gratuitous words of encouragement about a co-worker, their manager, or doctor, even a brief uplifting patient story.

Go for the smile!

Receiving compliments at the beginning of a meeting can help break the ice and encourage participation, leading to new, more constructive ideas.

If you choose to do so at the end of the meeting, everyone leaves on a high note, feeling a positive boost.

And three, it would help to make gratitude a routine occurrence.

You will see a change in staff attitudes simply by saying thank you. Not just a contrite, "let's get this out of the way, thanks," but a sincere "thank you" for a specific act of service.

Employees can tell the difference between a nondescript pat on the back vs. a true expression of gratitude.

Expressing gratitude is something you can do every day. Do it three times every day. It doesn't cost a thing!

Indeed, an ambitious doctor who can express gratitude to staff is purposeful.

Employees are not exempt from this exercise. Gratitude works both ways. Put your heads together and start the ball rolling by making simple changes to create a more gratitude-contributing climate.

Your internal efforts may not change the way people treat each other outside of the practice, but if we all aim a little higher, we just might set a great example.

That would indeed be a step in the right direction!